Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

How old are you?

That question can be met with pride or prejudice, depending upon whom you’re asking.

Ask a toddler how old they are, and he or she will proudly hold up their fingers and loudly proclaim, “I’m three!!”. Kids want to be older. They older they are, the more freedoms they might have. This trend continues well into the teenage years. “Mom, I’m 14! And everyone else can go to the mall by themselves!”

We keep this up, sometimes even lying about being older than we are, until we hit the magical age of 21. At 21, the world opens up to you. You are officially an adult. 21 year olds want to be carded at a club. They’re proud to be 21.

Between 21 and 30, age isn’t much of an issue. It’s just there. A guy asks how old you are, and you don’t think twice about telling him you’re 26. But after 30, things change. Women may not be so honest about their age. After all, they’re not in their 20s any more, and we are a youth-worshipping society. Thirty is the gateway to middle age. And who wants that?! Women are fearful that once they pass their thirties all of their attractiveness vanishes, an idea which is reinforced by Hollywood and the media. Aging is something that must be hidden at all costs. Lying about one’s age is just a way of preserving the illusion of youthfulness. Women who are over 30 and single are twice as likely to lie about their age. There are two main reasons for this. One, is because if men are considering a long term relationship, they may look at a woman over 30 as a ticking fertility time bomb. This is even more so the case if the woman is over 35 and single. The second reason is for career issues. A firm may not be as willing to hire a single woman in her early 30s, thinking if she settles down with a guy, she will want to start a family right away which means time away from the job. It’s in our 30s where age starts to become an issue.

By a woman’s 40s and 50s, the age issue could swing either way. If a woman is 45 and looks like she’s 30, she’s more than happy to tell you she’s actually 45. But if she’s 45 and looks 50, it’s best not to ask. Women at this age are reaching their ‘second adulthood’. Career goals have been met, children are grown and they are starting to finally focus the attention on themselves. We’re living longer now, and hopefully healthier lives. So 40 is the new 30, and 50 is the new 40 so to speak.

It’s at some point in the 60s where we start to resort back to the toddler enthusiasm. I remember if someone would ask my grandmother how old she was, she would proudly proclaim “I’m 89.” I guess it was her way of saying, hey, I made it this far and I’m still in one piece. Older folk tell you how old they are even if you don’t ask them. “I’m 75 years old, and when I was your age, we didn’t go out with boys unless our older brother went with us.” Or sometimes it’s even more random, “ I’m 82 years old and when I was your age the color blue was green!” They just like to throw the age thing out there. It becomes a status thing. A badge of honor.

How old am I? Old enough to know better. That will be my answer until I revert back to toddlerhood ?