Nike Had It Right

Josie (9 years old): Can I sing for you? I want to know if I sing good.

Me: First, you want to know if you can sing “well”, and second, what does it matter what I think? Does singing make you happy?

Josie: Yes

Me: Good, then it doesn’t matter what other people think.

Josie: But I don’t want people to make fun of me.

Me: People will make fun of you no matter how well you sing, if they want to. That’s a reflection on THEM, not YOU. So if you like to sing and it makes you happy, then sing and ignore what other people think.

(child begins singing)

This recent conversation made me think about just how much of an impact we have on each other, and how profound that impact can be. What if I had told this child that she has a terrible voice and she should never sing? And she believes me? Could it affect her relationships with other people? Could it affect the kind of person she becomes? Would she have a child some day and be afraid to sing that baby to sleep? Our actions can be so far reaching and long lasting.

Has anyone ever said anything to you – good or bad – that had a strong impact on your life? I’ll bet if you think about it hard, it has happened.

When I started Honeybee Gardens, I was in business for a whole year before I ever told my family about it. Why? I didn’t want the negativity. I didn’t want to hear, “What do YOU know about running a business? What do you know about cosmetics? What makes you think you can do this?” I didn’t allow that negativity into my world at such a critical time because I knew the impact it could have.

But we also CHOOSE to allow others to impact us. I remember the first big private label job I ever got. To me, it was huge. A contract with American Airlines. I took the contract over to my grandmother’s house to show her. She responded, “that’s nice.”

“But Nana,” I said, “Look at how much it’s for. That’s a lot of money!”

“Oh that’s really good.” she responded politely, but blandly. “Your brother had the girls over and do you know what little Rachel said…?” And on she went about my brother’s children. My big news was nothing compared to the funny things coming out of a 6 year olds mouth. I was devastated. My husband and I didn’t have children. In her eyes I would never truly be a success because of that.

I could have let that experience hurt me. And to be honest, it did a bit. But I chose to look at it another way. She was raised by her Italian immigrant parents. She was taught that the woman stays home and takes care of the family. The man goes out and works. I wasn’t doing what was expected of me in her eyes. I wasn’t a success.

Conversely, people can have a wonderful impact on your life. Recently, we launched our brand in to a selection of Ulta stores across the US. This was a milestone for me, and I shared a picture of the display on my Facebook page. The number of people who “liked” it and wrote encouraging notes blew me away. People I never thought even looked at my page. It made me feel so amazing to have people to share this with, and for those people to be so positive. It energizes you, and makes you want to do better and be better.

I went to a fast food drive through today for coffee, and decided to pay for the person’s meal behind me. I never even saw the person. But I hoped it made a positive impact on his or her day. Maybe it inspired them to do something nice for someone else.

We can’t always be perfect. But maybe sometimes we could say something or do something for someone that can make their life just a little bit better. We can at least try.