My Take on New Year’s Resolutions

You’re going about it all wrong.

First, I’m not big on the idea of waiting until January 1 to start anything.  You have to be mentally prepared to make changes, and the calendar should not be dictating that.  BUT if you are truly ready and you need a convenient start date, then go for it.

Notice I said “mentally prepared”.  It’s one thing to say to yourself, “this year I want to lose weight” or “this year I want to get a better job” or “this year I want to find my soul mate”.  But are you really ready for those things?  And are they REALLY what you want?  Think about that.  What do you really, really want?  Let’s look at “to lose weight”.  Okay, that’s a good one.  But WHY do you want to lose weight?  Is it because you want to be healthier?  Is it because you want to look better?  Is it because if you are skinnier, then X, Y and Z will suddenly happen?  Most people will tell you they want to lose weight to be healthier.  And maybe they do.  But let’s be honest, hypothetically speaking, I want to lose weight so I can look like VS model Marisa Miller.  If I look like Marisa Miller, I’ll be HOT and all the guys will want me and all the girls will envy me and I’ll have lots of friends and I’ll be happy.  Guess what?  THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!  And look at what I just wrote.  Look at the end goal.  The last word is “happy”.  So I’m not losing weight to get guys, get friends, etc., I’m doing it because I think it will make me happy.  And that’s illogical.  What I need to do is REFLECT.  Why am I not happy?  What is happy?  What would have to take place in my life to make me truly happy?   Looking like Marisa Miller might help, but it’s probably not going to get you all the way there.  So before you embark on this resolution journey, take time to reflect on what you TRULY want. 

Step 2, now that I have figured out what I truly want and what my number one goal is, how am I going to get there?  You need a PLAN.  Let’s say your goal is to find a new job.  If you have done Step 1 correctly, you will know what kind of job it is that you want.  How can you go about getting it?  Write out all the things you can do to help you achieve that goal.  And make sure the goal is realistic.  “I want to be Bradley Cooper’s personal assistant” may not be a realistic goal.  But “I want a job in the entertainment industry that will pay me a good salary, and keep me personally fulfilled” may be reasonable.  So start researching and writing.  Research how people get these jobs, what jobs are available, what are the job specifics, where are the jobs located, etc.  And write: what does my resume need to look like, do I have the necessary skills to get this position, how do I meet people in the industry, etc.  Research your goal.  Write out a plan.  A step by step plan that you can follow.  Just like the instructions that come with IKEA furniture, go step by step and cross off the steps you have completed.  These are mini goals that you are meeting along the way which will keep you motivated.

Step 3, go out there and get it!  If you’re like 99% of the population, no one is going to hand you want you want.  Your dream job will not fall into your lap.  You were not born with a perfect metabolism so you’ll have to work hard if you want to lose that weight.  And Sleepless in Seattle was a movie – life generally doesn’t work that way.  You have your plan in front of you now.  Execute it.  Every.  Single.  Day.  You can’t go gangbusters for the first month, things aren’t happening so you quit.  Well you could.  But you’ll never reach your goals.  If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.  You may have to take big steps.  Make BIG changes.  And you may fail.  You may experience set backs.  Maybe you don’t make any progress for awhile.  But if you really want it, you’ll keep trying.  I’ve been asked before how I have become so successful in an industry which I knew nothing about.  And while I didn’t consciously realize it when I was going through it, looking back, it’s because failure simply wasn’t an option.  It never crossed my mind. Sure I made mistakes.  I had set backs.  I screwed up.  But I learned and moved on.  Why?  Because I wanted it that badly.  If you really want something, I mean REALLY want it deep down in your soul, nothing will stop you from getting it. 

May you achieve everything you want in 2014 and beyond.